The urge to argue and win is nothing but the egotism of the intellect. Giving in to it, is the equivalent of worshiping a false god. Don’t engage in it. People will take our non-interest in arguing to mean that our point of view is weak and indefensible. Don’t care what they think. Be at peace with it. But, when we start to think that we really know what’s right and we become a little bit in-love with our own thought streams – we should catch ourselves. We should stop and realize that our knowledge and experience is the equivalent of one leaf in a forest of millions of leaves.
Don’t argue to try to win. Listen and try to understand what the other person is thinking and then look for things in common and ways to work together on issues. Most people love to talk – so ask lots of questions. Ask them open ended questions like; “what, why and how” and truly listen to the answers. Then when they know they have been heard, there will be an opportunity to make some type of a connection. Mutually acceptable agreements become a possibility…and that is good.
Jon
